


let me sleep

by unsaved_misc



Category: Video Blogging RPF, supermega
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fear, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, Vent?, Yearning, nah not really, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:20:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24750721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_misc/pseuds/unsaved_misc
Summary: ryan thinks at night
Relationships: Ryan Magee/Matt Watson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	let me sleep

**Author's Note:**

> listen to lofi music when u read this please!!!! there’s this one lofi song from an edit that i can absolutely not figure out the title of and it inspired me to write this >:0 please enjoy ik it’s short

“ryan?”  
he’s smoking on the porch when he hears his name being called. ryan turns, eyes lidded and burning from lack of sleep, watching matt drowsily rub his eyes.  
“ry?”  
“mm? you woke up, buddy?”   
matt nods, coming up to ryan with his eyes practically shut, hugging his arms around himself. despite being taller, he folds himself and leans against ryan, curling into his arms like he’s been meant to fit there all along. ryan never sleeps, lately. kept up by restless thoughts, shadows bouncing around the room.

matt mumbles something.  
“hm?”  
“come back to bed, ry. ‘s so cold without you there. i miss you a lot.” matt’s voice sounds so small, so vulnerable, and ryan wonders if he’ll remember this when he wakes up the next morning.   
“‘m sorry, matt. was just getting a smoke break.” he takes another drag, watching the smoke roll past his lips and into the night air. matt nods, head barely moving.  
“i love you, ry.”  
it’s sudden and comes out of nowhere.  
“i love you so much. you’re the best i could ever ask for.”  
ryan’s caught off guard. tears start coming, sliding down his cheeks. why does it hurt his chest so much to hear matt say that? 

he chews the inside of his mouth, lip trembling.  
“i love you too, matt.”  
but matt is asleep in his arms now.  
ryan lets out a shaky breath, exhaling a curse, wondering why he’s trembling so much. he can’t place it, and that’s not normal for him.

he loves matt so much that it hurts his innards, chews him from the inside out because he thinks he can’t do enough. matt is sparkling. he’s stupid and bright and dances through ryan’s life like wildfire. ryan is so, so fucking scared that matt will leave that he grasps him just a little tighter every night, has nightmares of matt being taken or leaving because ryan can’t keep up with him. 

ryan is terrified. and that’s why he can’t sleep.

so he takes another drag. he grips matt close with his arm, savoring how he feels and smells and how he breaths slowly as he wanders in dreams. ryan wonders what he’s dreaming about, and he hopes it’s colorful.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it!! this was just a little not rlly vent self exploration thingy?? just feeling emotion and listening to music and writing


End file.
